Privacy?

Recently, a good friend of mine Matt Newman blogged about privacy on the internet which got me thinking.

Now admittedly, I have accounts with Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, and Formspring (something I do vaguely regret) but I do wonder quite how private I am online.

My Facebook, whilst it does have a lot of people on it, is extremely limited. Friends on my limited profile setting are lucky if they can see my birthday, and thats it.

My Twitter, whilst open, I do generally keep an eye on who follows me, and do block people I don’t want following me. I’ll admit I’m very open on my Twitter, but nothing I wouldn’t say in real life.
Occasionally people complain about what I say, usually to whine if they think something was ‘aimed at them’ though quite frankly if out of my 270 followers you think something was ‘aimed at you’ I believe the real issue is how self centered you are. But there you go.
However, I know I do engage in a number of conversations on Twitter, and did not realize until recently how accessible they were, even when someone is not following you both. After seeing someone seek out a conversation between me and a friend to read, lets just say I wonder a lot more about whether people are reading my ‘private’ conversations.

Foursquare. I used to check in at my work place, which I no longer do, after Foursquare began their stupid policy that you cannot gain mayorships with mobile web check ins. And honestly, I don’t object to people knowing where I work, the chances they go in when I’m at work are very slim anyway.
Nowadays I only use Foursquare to check in somewhere of interest, such as when I was at the Houses of Parliament, or sometimes to check in at train stations while I’m bored.
But certainly no one would be able to track me down using my Foursquare account.

Formspring, I find a disturbing thing. I have considered for some time disabling it, mainly because a lot of the questions I get, are well, extreme.
But still, I don’t say anything I wouldn’t in public.

However, In terms of privacy, I also wonder about texting and emails. We’ve all done it. It doesn’t take a second to show someone a text from someone else. I often worry about some of my messages falling into the wrong hands, particularly knowing that a number of friends rarely delete their messages. And emails are so easy to pass on, or even BCC someone in.
I have been BCC on private emails before, and the recipients had no idea that I could see their conversation.

I find technology somewhat concerning in this way. I know we reveal this information. But does the internet lend itself to encourage us?
Something to consider.

Valentine’s Day Culture

Recent conversations have taught me that I’m not the only person not 100% sold on this idea of Valentine’s Day.

But of course, as soon as you tell someone you aren’t a fan, everyone gets the same reaction – “Everyone hates Valentines when their single!”

I find fault with this. I went out on a date once on Valentines, but that still didn’t stop me disliking the idea of Valentines.

One day a year, where you tell the person you love that you care?

Why just one day a year?

Love should be there every day. Yes, perhaps Valentines is ‘romantic’. But you know whats more romantic? Surprising the person you care about without warning.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband EXPECTS to get something on Valentines.

But will they expect a gift say, tomorrow? No. And THATS what makes it romantic.

Spontaneity keep a relationship alive, and theres no better way than that.

Yes, maybe Valentines has some use. When I was younger, Valentines was when you could tell someone you liked them, without pressure. It seems to be the one day where, if you got rejected, it doesn’t quite matter, because it was Valentines.

I still like that part of it. You tell a girl you like her on Valentines, and somehow it is more romantic than the rest of the year.

But taking your girlfriend out to dinner on Valentines? Tacky. And over priced.

Everyone knows they up the price on Valentines. So if you really want to dedicate one day a year as a couple, pick another day!

A good friend of mine recently asked me if I would secretly be happy to get something on Valentines.

I honestly don’t think I would, because I’d be more interested in the person.

Valentines should be about love, and showing the person you love that you care.

It’s that time when it’s ok to say you like someone.

Valentines can still be lovely, still be romantic. But for couples?

No, it’s just tacky.

Twitter; Freedom or Not

I’ve loved Twitter since the day I got it, theres no denying it.

But anyone who knows me well knows I’m prone to taking Twitter ‘breaks’ when I get so frustrated I’d end up tweeting things I regret, which is what led me to this blogpost.

I left Twitter last Sunday, intending that I would return as soon as I knew I wouldn’t say something stupid. A week on, and I still haven’t started Tweeting again.

I’m not sure why this is. Some part of me says it’s still not safe to be on Twitter. I know some of the people who follow me on Twitter follow me with the intention of spying. And although this bothers me a little, I feel thats their prerogative, but if they see something they don’t like, it’s not my problem.

In the past, I’ve had people complain about my tweets, and say I “can’t say things like that” because of who I work for. Or don’t work for, would be more accurate now.

I don’t chose to censor myself on Twitter. The majority who actually read my tweets generally know what I’m talking about, and anyone who didn’t know me wouldn’t understand anyway. There is very little danger in what I tweet.

In the past, I protected my tweets, but it got to hard to control, and I took it off.

I think Twitter has taught some people more about me. Twitter reminds me that although we have the freedom to speak, there is always someone who won’t like what we say.

As much freedom as we have on Twitter, we are also restricted by other peoples interpretation.

I won’t say I don’t miss Twitter. The last week has reminded me how frustrating I find Facebook. I hope I can find the strength to Tweet again, because I miss it like crazy. But at the same time, something tells me nothing will change if I go back.

Just like anywhere else, when you say something you regret, you can never really take it back

 

Does Age Matter? (Part One)

ARCHIVED POST – Originally written September 2010

I’ve got to that point where I am forced to ask this question, on several levels

Firstly, age in ourselves. As we’re now in September, I can say I have about 6 months until I turn 20. This terrifies me. I really DO NOT want to be 20. To me, 20 is a huge step. For university students, living on their own, out in clubs with their friends and boyfriend every night, saving pennies to pay for a tin of beans. 20 to me is a big deal. Its a huge sign of independence. And even though I’m due to take my driving test in October, and already own a car, I still don’t feel my age has given me independence. In truth, I don’t feel any different to how I did when I was 15. True, I’m not doing my GCSE’s anymore. But I have my degree, and whole host of other things to worry about. I still look exactly the same. I’m one of the few people I know who doesn’t really age. And unlike them, I don’t consider it a blessing in disguise.

Now, I can pass for 18 any day. But there are still people who mistake me for 14, and this always makes me question my age a little. I’ll admit, I don’t act like someone whose 19. I don’t want to. I liked the younger years, they were simpler. I am older when it is called for. I can act 25 when I want to, according to some people. But that will never change how old I look. How you act is only a part of your age.

I also have to consider age in relationships. This follows a conversation with several friends of mine over the weekend. Now admittedly, they are almost 24 and 25, respectably, which I consider a more flexible age in relationships. But both appeared shocked to learn I have a limit of 5 years above my own age. I find this to be perfectly acceptable. At 19, that means I would preferably not date anyone over the age of 24.  I think this is quite reasonable. The expectation that I should be happy to seek someone of around 30 is quite daft. Maybe if I was in my early twenties, but I feel that there is still quite a gap between 19 and 30. Regardless of the fact that a bloke of about 25 is very likely only of the same maturity of someone my age.

Then again, you don’t think anything of age in friendships. I have some very good, and some very close friends, most of whom are a few years older than me.  And I’d say many of them are better friends than people my own age. I’ve always got on better with people older then me, I don’t know why. I often find people my age can be immature, of childish, and spend hours on stupid things like clothes and make up, when there are more important things in life.

Additional notes: January 2011

So, it’s been about 3 months since I originally archived this post for later use. And re-reading it, I’m fascinated to see how some of my attitudes have changed.

My general view have changed. Since passing my test, it’s good to have the car just to go out when need be, and after learning how to drive in the harsh winter, it’s safe to say I’m not trapped in by that anymore.

My mini ‘bedsit’ as my mother calls it, is more useful than ever. Having my own kitchen so accessible is a great asset, especially when you don’t get in from work till ten pm! And driving home after work is possibly one of the most independent moments I feel every week.

I don’t look any older. I probably look younger, for that matter. I hate winter, because it’s so cold, you end up with so many layers on it makes you look younger. Might just be me. But, for now I’m ok with that.

I had to have a turn around on my dating policy not long after I originally wrote this blogpost. Turns out, the 24 max? Not so much. In fact, the first time I got asked out after writing this was by a 25 year old, which I realized I had no problem with. My dad did, but thats another story…. Although I’m not open to something stupid, like a 35 year old or something (Unless I want to follow in my parents footsteps. Which I do NOT!) I’m more open to the idea of seeing someone older. Especially now I realize they are probably the only way to find a mature bloke!

My friendships haven’t changed. Some of my closest friends are notably older than me, but I’ve also found a group of younger people I’m now close to, who are perfectly charming in their own way. It just goes to show:

Don’t judge anyone on age. Because often, age doesn’t even matter

Happy New Year….

Although I’ve gotten some what behind in my blog posts, a good friend of mine Matt Newman recently prompted me to begin blogging again.

And what better way to start than with a New Years post?

I don’t really want to get all nostalgic over 2010. 2010 wasn’t my greatest year. Achievement wise, maybe. But on a personal level, it’s one of the few years I’d never chose to repeat. So lets go over the fun parts!

So, quick highlights.

Well, key part of 2010 had to be my work with the UK Youth Parliament. Having now spent a year as one the East Midlands regions two Procedures Group reps, it was an eventful year. Planning the Annual Sitting, preparing for the House of Commons event, and the dozens of little things that come up to deal with, it’s been a fun year. Maybe one of my most stressful, I’ve never had so much to deal with in my life!

But I’ve loved every second, and had the chance to work with some incredible people, including Adam Gravely, Tom Turrell, Sam Ellis and Paul Boskett (Now Paul Boskett MBE!). All four have been a great regional team, and fingers crossed I get to work with them again in the future. Albeit, our meetings aren’t glamourous (Or more accurately, train station cafes aren’t!) but we’ve had an amazing year, with all our ups and downs.

2010 has also been a good year for spending with some of my friends. The YSA conference in August turned out to be a great laugh to spend with Kayleigh and Katy (Katy is now serving a mission in London South as of November!) possibly wasting valuable time sat in a room giggling! And I will never forgive them both for the make up/clothes/hair make over for the dance that later become my Facebook profile picture. Even if I do love them both to bits.

Suppose we can’t go through 2010 memories without mentioning driving!

Failed my first test in October (Still a technicality. 4 minors, I don’t think the maneuver counts as a major. But there you go.) and retook it in November, thankfully passed! Still with 4 minors. Though completely different ones. No idea. Thankfully, I’ve been driving my car since I bought it in July (Don’t ever say students waste their money.) so the test was just a nice technicality keeping me off the road unaccompanied. And it was a rather fun trip the day I passed my test when my brother asked me to drive him to Waitrose at about 8pm, using the new SatNav. Lets just say, they shouldn’t put the Waitrose turning so close to a dead end. #Waitrosefail

Also can’t go through 2010 without mentioning the Labour Party. I joined the Party in May, after the disaster that was the General Election (It’s my blog. I can call it a disaster if I want to!). Since then, I’ve been part of the Lincoln Labour Party, been part of forming the Lincoln Young Labour group, and started running for East Midlands regional representative. All with the help of the wonderful Paul Rhodes . I’ve been campaigning in Newark for Kids Crossing Safely with Rosanne Kirk, and had a hilarious meeting with the Young Labour group, who are just too much of a laugh for words. And they all know what I mean when I say we are going camping.

Suppose University also counts! Now a second year at the University of Lincoln studying my oh so wonderful degree. Which is pretty fun. Just got my first piece of second year work back, 68 not a bad start to the year! My tutor now wanting a 70 isn’t so good, but we’ll see

I’ve met some amazing people in 2010, and done things I could have never dreamed of. I never thought I’d go to Belfast twice in one year. I never thought I spend time with 18 other crazy UKYPers in London. I never thought I’d love a job that isn’t  job so much. I never thought I’d be this into politics.

Something tells me I’m not quite done yet, so all I can do is wait and see what 2011 brings. And it had better bring it, because it’ll struggle to beat some of the things I’ve done this year.

So long 2010, we won’t miss you, much

Labour Leadership, and David Miliband

Before someone tells me, yes, I am a little late to blog about this. I shall cite work commitments, and you can all just oh and ah to yourselves

First, the Labour Leadership result.

Could not be more excited! I went to see Ed Miliband in Sheffield in July, and was only further convinced there that he was the man for the job. He is a leader, and a great thinker. He impressed me when he didn’t shy away from harsh questions, and often answered questions that may have won or lost him huge amounts of support.

I was proud to say I voted for him as first preference when my ballot paper came, and was one of many glued to my set when the announcement came. Admittedly, we could all have done without the exact percentages at that particular point, as it made it very difficult for anyone without a maths degree to follow!

The very fact that throughout the announcement I was rejecting any text message that wasn’t related to the announcement, and tweeting non stop shows just how excited I was to hear this result.

Ed Miliband will be an incredible leader for this party, and one day, the next Prime Minister. It’s just a matter of time. We have a elected a truly amazing man, who will serve to better the party and the country.

However, I was disappointed today to learn of David Miliband’s intention to step down from frontline politics. Whilst there may be many explanations for this, such as his not wanting to overshadow Ed, it will only be seen by many as a childish reaction to rejection. I didn’t win, so I’m just going to give up. Thats the line many are saying right now.

I can only hope it isn’t true. David Miliband is still an amazing politician, and although he didn’t get my first preference (Or second, for that matter) I still believe he has worked hard for this party, and should continue to do so. I would have liked to see him in the Shadow Cabinet, supporting his brother in the Leadership.

It may be just too hard for him to do this, or perhaps he truly does want to leave his brother to flourish as leader without people using the fact they are brothers to exploit them.

I hope to see more of David Miliband in the future, and wish him the best of luck as he continues to work in politics.

‘X’ Marks the spot…

This is just a little musing that came to me today.

When did we change the meaning of ‘x’?

I will openly admit, I put an x at the end of messages to virtually everyone I know. I never think twice about this.

And yet now I remember that ‘x’ used to mean kiss. And yet it can’t possibly mean that anymore. It’s turned into almost the same concept as saying hello. So what exactly DOES it mean?

Men don’t tend to use it. It’s a form of affections only women tend to use. And yet it still doesn’t really have a meaning. It’s almost like we use it as a way to end a message.

And yet if you are texting a boyfriend, you use a lot of x’s, and then it has meaning. Or texting two X’s to a close friend is also acceptable.

A while back, someone created this Facebook group “Just because I put an X at the end of my text, doesn’t mean I fancy you”

I like this group. In a society where we now tend to use the X at the end of every message, there is always that one person who misinterprets it. Always. Personally, I know who these people are, and when I text them, I always double check to make sure I haven’t put an X in by reflex.

Sometimes if someone has upset or offended you, you remove the X, so they know they’ve upset you. It’s almost like a new and subtle sign language. And yet if you know someone IS upset, or just needs a little extra comfort, you might send two Xs, so they just feel that little bit extra loved.

It’s quite bizarre to me. I wasn’t aware that at any point the meaning had changed. Just like everyone else, I have slipped into the trend of society, and use the X. But to me it means something. It means you’re a friend, and I care that you’re a friend. Hardly anyone won’t get a message from me with and X at the end.

I gather some people don’t use X’s at all. I’d say 90% of these are men. It doesn’t really seem to be a guy thing. I’d say guys who do it are either guys with lots of female friends, or guys who just have a more feminine side. I think it’s great when guys do it, I just think they seem more accessible!

But then I may be reading too much into it.

What I would like to know is this:

Do you use X’s?

What does it mean to you?

Do you think we’ve changed what it means?

Another question may be if you think I’m utterly mad for noticing this. But ah well, I’m sure you’ll get over it.